"Signs and Wonders"
Over the years passing by various churches I have seen a lot of different signs out front which make some type of declaration or point. Sometimes these church signs are funny, sometimes silly, sometimes they are offensive and stupid and sometimes they are downright scary. Here are a few of the various things/messages I have seen posted on church signs:
Running low on faith? Stop in for a fill-up.
Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!
Santa Claus never died for anyone!
Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins.
Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons - come hear one!
God so loved the world that He did not send a committee.
God expects spiritual fruit not religious nuts.
Life ain't no dress rehearsal.
Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush!
When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out all right.
Forbidden fruit creates many jams.
To prevent sunburn use Sonscreen.
Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday.
Fight truth decay - study the Bible daily.
Faith sees God, intellect does not.
We use duct tape to fix everything, God uses nails!
How will you spend eternity - Smoking or Non-smoking?
Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives
Go Bush Go . . . Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammo.
Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world.
It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin.
Now open on Sundays come on in.
Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church.
Who's Your Daddy?
Don't give up, Moses was once a basket case too!
People are like tea bags - you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are.
You won't be too busy to die!
Aids Cures Sodomy.
If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again.
Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon.
This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing? --------- (U R)
In the dark? Follow the Son.
If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd.
Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!
[So . . . what do some of the signs you see in front of churches say?]
posted by T.B. Vick | 8:30 AM
5 Comments:
At present it says
Midday Bible Study- Tues at 2 PM
Join Us!
But tomorrow I'm stealing one you have above- We used duct tape to fix things- God Uses nails.
I like that one! And like you- i've seen some STUPID ones. But the ones that bother me the most are the ones misspelled! That just grates on my nerves beyond words.
And Gage- 3 iron.
Gage,
Well Jim beat me to the punch, I was gonna say 3 or 4 iron.
btw - how close is Steph to having number 2?
Before I became a Christian, a sign outside a Baptist church really confused me. Not being raised in a Christian family, I read the notice 'JESUS IS COMING SOON' and thought, crikey!
A few months later I was passing the same church, and the sign had changed to something else which I've since forgotten. But I do remeber thinking: 'Well, they got that last one wrong then'!
Golfers online ...
I'm a big golf fan, just dont play it anymore as its so expensive here in Germany. But my handicap is still offically 7.
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